Santorum and Parental Support

I've been reading a lot about Senator Santorum's book but have refrained from commenting on it because I haven't read it myself, have no intention of buying it, and don't want to be on the waiting list at the library for it, not when there are some other good reads out there and I'm in the middle of re-reading a Robert Heinlein classic.

But I've seen noted in a number of places that the Santorum family receives financial help from his family. One example is here.

Now, I will freely admit that the rest of this post will sound self-righteous and priggish. It will, it will, so you might want to skip it.

When Mr. Jane and I married neither of us had expectations of any inheritance. In fact, we both expected that we would eventually have financial responsibilities for our parents. When my father died we received a bill for our share of the funeral costs. When Mr. Jane's father died we received a bill for our share of the funeral costs. For most of the past 13 years we have sent off a small check every month to help cover prescription costs, or for "creature comforts" (a room phone in a nursing home, money so someone could get their hair done once in a while, clothing costs, etc.). Before this became a regular expense we would sometimes receive a call that a parent needed one thing or another and what our share would be. Sometimes it was a small amount sometimes it would be higher. As first generation college students we understood that our household earning power was likely to be higher than our parents' ever had been or would be. This is just what you do. I know a lot of people in the same situation. My mother took care of her parents. My grandparents took care of their parents. People extend a hand to younger siblings. If you lived near a school or college you might offer free room and board to a sibling or other relative.

At one point we feared that a misalignment in medical diagnoses and insurance coverage would mean all the children in the family would need to pitch in $500 a month for several months. Fortunately the stars realigned and this wasn't needed. But we had planned for that eventuality. We have planned our life and finances so that we have a cushion in case of emergency. That means a smaller house than we could afford, and paying extra on the mortgage. Paying into a retirement fund so that our children won't have the same worries we do about parental support, saving for college costs, some investments. In times of trouble all this can be jettisoned and we can come up with more money each month. It isn't enough of a cushion for one of us to quit working but enough that we can relax and know we can handle a level of uncertainty should a problem arise.

When Sen. Santorum talks about two-income households and that being a sign of affluenza or extravagant lifestyles, I want to ask him what he expects people to do, leave their parents on the curb? Insist parents leave their own homes and move in with their adult children because it's more cost effective that way? Knowing you can lend a hand to a loved one or, hopefully, let your children graduate from college without debt, or give those children a future without worry about supporting their parents hanging over their heads -- these are extravangances in Rick Santorum's America? You do have to balance your obligations to your parents and your obligations to your children, and that is sometimes a hard balance, but he assumes we are all throwing way our money on diamond-encrusted computer games or 500 pairs of shoes. He needs to visit a few homes across the state and see how the people of Pennsylvania are really living.

I read that he is still taking money from his parents and my jaw hit the floor. People take money from their parents for college or maybe a house down payment, or ask for a loan if a financial disaster happens. But for him as an adult to still be even somewhat dependent on money from his parents? Where I am from that is downright embarrasing.