Saturday, June 17, 2006

Mike Fitzpatrick Saves the World

Mike Fizpatrick has released some interesting press releases this week. Take this one, which says in part:

Today, the House passed H.R. 861; legislation declaring that the United States will prevail in the Global War on Terror. The resolution passed 256 to153. Upon its passage, Congressman Michael G. Fitzpatrick released the following statement:

"Today, the House passed a resolution reaffirming the United States' commitment to winning the Global War on Terror. I supported this legislation because it declared that it is not in our nation's best interest to set an arbitrary date for withdrawal or redeployment of our forces in the region. The decision to redeploy and withdraw our troops should be based on a specific set of goals and objectives determined not by Washington politicians, but by military and foreign policy experts.

I also voted for this legislation because it makes clear to our men and women serving in Iraq, Afghanistan and other regions in the world that their government is committed to completing the mission against terrorism. H.R. 861 reaffirms Congress' commitment to supply and support our troops so that they can return victorious to a grateful nation."

I'm sure the troops in Iraq feel much better knowing that Rep. Fitzpatrick, sitting in his office or at his seat in Congress, has signed a resolution declaring that the US will win the war on terror. I'm sure our enemies are shaking in their boots. Some people, instead of sitting here signing things, volunteered to go over and actually serve in the military in Iraq.

For the next one, I will quote this from last Friday's Capitol Ideas column/blog.

How Does U.S Rep. Mike Fitzpatrick Feel ...
... about genocide?
No, sir. He doesn't like it.
In fact, the Bucks County Republican's distaste for something that no one else (with the exception of sociopathic Third World warlords) likes is so strong that an outfit called the Genocide Intervention Network recently gave Fitzpatrick an "A" for his hitherto unnoticed efforts to stop the killing in the Darfur region of Sudan.
So what did Fitzpatrick do to merit such an honor? Did he fly to Sudan and offer to arm-wrestle its leaders?
Er, no.
Did he use his heat vision to cause all the guns there to melt and become unusable?
Er, no.
Did he personally fly a plane-load of grain to the region to feed the starving multitudes? Or did he at least record a charity single featuring Bono, Bob Geldof and the two members of Destiny's Child whose names no one can remember?
Er, no.
So what'd he do?
"I have done my part by co-sponsoring and supporting language supporting an end to the war and I will continue to do so," Fitzpatrick said in a press release.
Oh ...
We hate to minimize the tragedy in the Sudan, and applaud anyone who takes the time to care. But c'mon, that's the legislative equivalent of getting an "A" for attendance in elementary school.

To be fair, the press release lists a number of legislative actions that Fitzpatrick has supported, but, honestly, looking at the list, anyone who didn't support them really needs to explain why.

1 comment:

eRobin said...

He also saved our children from online predators by making sure that they can't access sites that are already blocked by most schools. And, of course, he's doing his best to entrench Congress' pay for play plan. He's been very busy.